Wednesday, 1 April 2015

These words took much longer for me to have translated than the rest of the text, and even longer for me to to understand the honesty and the pain taken to express: however this is my merely my interpretation... 

Originally translated by Giovanni Boccaccio circa 1335AD; later plagiarised by Shakespeare. I found the original translation to be bland, flat and dry, it lacked of  emotion…

An extract from The Great Book Of Kizzmazz Volume III 
“The Book Of Kandake”…
The Princess Kandake opens her soul -  Barukh Salaam listens in silence:

I met men 
Many men
They were trying to be you
They had your eyes
Your hands
A fraction of your humour
Men who pretended to be as courageous as you
Men who pretended to have your wit
Men who tried to convince me they could have the power 
The Power that you have over me
If I only I could just be smaller
Men who exclaimed my lack of pleasure was my issue
That I did not understand intimacy
I've met lots of your shadows
I've tried to love men 
They had little pieces of what I knew I needed
I filled in the rest with my imagination 
I tried to love them
I knew what I would love
They had little corners of it
I am so sad
I wish I had said no
I now realise that not enough is less than nothing
What I needed was you
I was looking for you

Tuesday, 31 March 2015

An extract from The Great Book Of Kizzmazz Volume I...
Barukh Salaam explains his true feelings for the princess Kandake...
He expresses in words that have never fitted before...
All his rhythms started to rhyme...

Although not looking
I found you
I was not wanting 
Yet you gave
You shared your damaged soul
I forgot my pain
It was not I, but you with a need to heal
I let go
I saw through you
It was I that would fix you
Wanting nothing in return
I would evolve 
I would take control
Commitment without committing
I did it for me
I no longer want your rejection

Sunday, 29 March 2015

An extract from The Great Book Of Kizzmazz Volume III 
“The Book Of Kandake”…
An exchange of expression between Princess Kandake and Barukh Salaam - Kandake speaks; Barukh listens in silent…

You can explore all of me
Yet keep me safe at the same time
You make me feel desired 
With you
For you
Wherever you take me
One step at the time
I thank you for that
You have the genius of timing
We are both in it
You paced me
I realised 
I want our words 
Our rules
If we take it slow
Keep it in simple steps
We can get just the things we want
Go where we wish in our minds
Together
No one else's agendas
That is what I want
I want our world
Then we will walk through it together
Things like this
The simple quiet way you do it
You lead me to it
Without scolding me for getting it wrong
I rely on you all the time
For your mind
I've learned more from you in such a short space in time
Than in the whole of my life
How to be content
Creative
Strong
Safe and true to myself
Those are the things that matter
All of my knowledge is just stuff  
You know how to be                                               You share that with me
What you know cannot be taught
I learn because you let me walk with you
The way you make things 
Solve problems
You trust in all your ability
Allow it to happen
You are the most creative person I've ever met
I've met a few
You have perfect balance
You think it 
Thus you do it
Challenge
Confidence 
Your ability to do it 
Flow Theory 
You are it
I am very lucky because I get to be around that flow
It helps me get mine
Your mind shines bright than I know
You are the most amazing person I've ever known
This is why I love you 
Thank you for choosing me
Together we shall make the memories
Dyslexia does not mean; “you are stupid, thick, bone idle, lazy or a fucking moron”; it just means that you are different…
It is not a disease, an affliction nor a disability…
It is a gift - One who is dyslexic is often super creative, smart & able to see situations from a different perspective, a lateral thinker…
The upside for me; I have a semi photographic memory, a Sharpe-eye for detail; I am perceptive, creative & as Sharpe as a weasel…
The downside; I cannot write properly with a pen & have extreme difficulty in putting my letters in the correct order; which has led to OCD…
I have read this post at least ten times before posting & will read again thrice after posting; then, when I see the mistakes will delete, repost & go through the same laborious procedure again, & possibly again…

Thursday, 26 March 2015

On Monday I contacted the police to possibly offer my assistance in any historical child abuse cases regarding a particular state care home for children...

By Wednesday I had not had any response, thusly I called up again...

Thursday morning I got a call from the police, apparently my enquiry had gone to the wrong department…

I was asked what was my complaint… 
I was making no complaint…
I was asked am I making any allegation…
I was not making any allegations…
I explained I would like to know if any investigation of abuse was in progress regarding Harold Wood Hall and if so I may be able to assist…
I was told someone would get back to me…

(An hour later) 
I was asked what was my complaint… 
I was making no complaint…
I was asked am I making any allegation…
I was not making any allegations…
I explained I would like to know if any investigation of abuse was in progress regarding Harold Wood Hall and if so I may be able to assist…

I was asked if I was making an accusation…
I explained again and asked if it was possible for an enquiry to be made into what I had requested…

I was asked if an officer could come and see me and take some details; it would take about two hours…
I said first I need you to find out whether there is an investigation in progress regarding the place that I mentioned, otherwise it may be pointless, as I am making no allegations…

I was then advised that I was being very unhelpful…
I asked if it was possible to speak to a superior…
The phone went dead___________________________!

Wednesday, 25 March 2015

On Monday I offered my assistance to the police regarding any historical child abuse cases, which may have occurred whilst I was in state care. I was asked if I could give any information. I said, “If there were any open cases in need of possible witness collaboration I would be willing to look at images of alleged suspects whom have been accused. I have photographic memory for details and may be able to assist with relevant information”…

I was informed that someone would be in touch with me shortly. There was very little enthusiasm and I was made to feel a bit like I was bothering the police representative to whom I spoke. I was not even asked where I was situated at the time I was in care; which I perceive would be crucial. I have not been contacted since...

I was under the impression that witnesses were needed as in any normal police investigation. To be honest I was hesitant in contacting the police, due to lack of trust, yet decided what have I got to lose…?

Sunday, 22 March 2015

I perceive that there are many people that, in the 1960/70s, were abused as children, yet remain silent... 
If you were in state care and were abused now is the time to speak out... 
There are many police investigations going on, some are in need of collaborating witnesses... 
You have nothing to feel ashamed nor guilty about; it was not your fault and you bear no responsibility for the actions of others... 
Although many of the abusers are no longer alive, members of the elite families and benefactors of these children's homes still continue to cover up such abuse... 
I experienced such abuse as a child, I have no shame, nor guilt, it makes me the man I am today and also my reason for speaking out against injustice... 
Although I admit it will not be easy, I will be offering my help, if possible, to the police in this matter... 
I was in Harold Wood Hall children's home, Gallows Corner, in the early 1960s; if you were there or in Little Heath or Woodstock please inbox me... 
Please do not express any sympathy; I really don't need it...

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Last night John Reilly​ turned up at my door with a man that I have not seen for at least 5 years; such a heart warming moment to see his smile...
It gave me a chance to tell him of the gifts he has given me and the vast influence that he had on the creative part of my life...
He, like most people from my past, had hardly ever heard me speak before...

A King - Many have expressed, how I changed their lives; Trevor Shakes unknowingly changed mine. To Express Music one must know the Creativity of Dance; otherwise One cannot Feel (This Was Not Part Of The Masterplan)

Thursday, 26 February 2015



RITR - DITS (Rinsed In The Rain – Dried In The Sun)
Rinse in the rain...
Put on wet jeans...
Roll jean legs tightly up to the knee (concertina)...
Bend legs a few times...
Slowly slide jeans down the legs...
Step out of jeans...
Stamp on jeans...
Leave in above state to dry in the sun...

Monday, 23 February 2015

The Power Of Knowledge

Although the relationship with my father was turbulent, it is now coming to pass that many of my perceptions are based upon his views. At 15 years old he gave me Malcolm X’s biography. He explained why he thought MLK and Gandhi were tools of government to appease the masses, by preaching peace and not revolution. When I played “Free Nelson Mandela” he talked to me of Steve Biko…

My father’s quest for knowledge was limited to libraries and reading; he did not have the immediate information at his fingertips, he could not cross reference worldwide information in a matter of minutes: he studied book by book…

I wonder what his views would have been had he the power of the World Wide Web; his thoughts on Colonel Gaddafi, Saddam Hussein and the Western deconstruction in he Middle East. How would have felt about the Israel, Egypt and Saudi allegiance or extreme right wing groups flying Israeli flags…?

He had strong views on the American Civil Rights Movement; how would he feel about the present situation and the impression that we are now moving backwards rather than forward…?


Would his views have differed had he had such vast information available...?

We now have the privilege of watching and reading the daily news and then within seconds we can cross reference with unlimited sources. We may not be fed the truth yet we have the power of knowledge to decipher for ourselves and create our own perceptions…